new mom with her baby

How To Help New Moms (& How Not To) in the First Weeks

Having a baby is both beautiful and stressful but can take a toll on moms. So if you’re thinking about ways on how to help new moms during these first few weeks, please do something. 

They might tell you that they don’t need any help but this is a lie! Us moms can be pretty prideful at times and want to be seen as a supermom, even if we aren’t feeling like one. 

And trust me, the first few weeks after bringing a baby home is when we need help the most. So here are multiple ways on how you can help the new mom in your life (and how not to help). 

[Disclaimer: Please note this post may contain affiliate links. This means I may receive a commission if clicked at no extra cost to you. Though the opinions remain my own.]

Every New Mom is Different

Before we go into how to help new moms during the first weeks, it’s important to keep in mind that every new mom is different. 

At the same time, the same mom could be experiencing different newborn stages. I myself feel that I had a super smooth newborn phase with my son, but this time around was completely different. 

Just because you or someone else may have had it easy, it doesn’t mean that your special mama isn’t going through a rough time. But regardless, every new mom could use some help, even if they don’t ask for it. 

So be kind and thoughtful when interacting with her. And please do find a few ways on how you can help this new mom so she can survive the newborn phase.

stressed new mom holding baby

How To Helps New Moms (15 Thoughtful Ways)

Taking care of a newborn usually means that moms are taking less care of themselves, the household and the rest of the family. This means that there are actually a number of different ways on how to help new moms.

Below is a list of the different ways on how you can help a new mom.

1) Bring meals or restaurant gift cards

When have you ever heard of someone rejecting food? LOL. During the first few weeks, mom and dad are busy taking care of their precious newborn baby. 

This means they will have zero time left to cook, but they still gotta eat. So pick up some fresh dinner, cook some freezer dishes or even give them restaurant gift cards to use. 

If possible, you can even organize for different family members and friends to bring meals for different days of the week. Or if you can take on several days yourself, that works too. This is actually what my mom did for me and we are so very grateful she did.

Oh, and don’t forget their favorite sweets or Starbucks drink too LOL. Their tummies will really appreciate all the yumminess! 

2) Bring baby essentials

Babies go through things pretty fast. Who knew something so tiny could use up so much of well… everything. And even though mama may or may not have stocked up on baby essentials, they will still eventually run out.

So bring some diapers, wipes or diaper rash cream as a small gift. And when in doubt on what to bring, a special gift set of organic baby care items like this one is sure to do the trick. 

She’ll be excited to use some organic and skin sensitive products to protect her tiny baby’s skin.

3) Do the chores around the house 

One of the best ways on how to help new moms is to pick up some of the household duties like doing chores. This includes you, Dad and kids! 

Like I said, with all the attention being on baby and trying to figure out a new baby routine, mom barely has time for anything else. And cleaning the house is the last thing she wants to do.

So pick up a broom, clean the kitchen and bathrooms or dust the furniture. The more chores you can help with the better. Plus, chores can be split up between the older kids as well. 

Related Post: Realistic Cleaning Schedule for Moms to Actually Get Things Done

woman holding baby to show how to help new moms

4) Watch baby while mom sleeps or showers

Did I mention new moms get very little sleep those first nights with a newborn? Or that they use a bunch of dry shampoo because sometimes showers don’t seem like an option? 

Yeah, so one simple thing you can do to help a new mom is offer to watch the baby while mom sleeps or takes a relaxing, hot shower. Chances are, she really needs to do both! 

And since she’ll be busy taking care of herself for an hour or so, this means you get a chance to snuggle with baby (just remember, no kissing because you know, germs).

Related Post: How To Get Things Done with a Baby at Home (Without Losing Your Mind)

5) Limit your length of stay

Okay, just because you are coming over to help her out with something doesn’t mean you can stay all day long. Even if she says it’s okay, it’s probably best to limit your length of stay anyways.

The reason is because she needs to figure out her new daily routine with a baby and having visitors over isn’t going to help. Moms instantly turn into “being a good host” mode when people are over. Even if you tell her she doesn’t have to worry about it, she’s still going to do it.

Plus, she’s probably stressed, exhausted and cranky so won’t be much fun to be around anyways LOL. 

6) Offer to run errands for her

Sometimes us new moms forget that we actually have a life outside of the baby haha. This means that we may forget about some errands we need to run like going to the grocery store or taking the older kids to soccer practice. 

Or better yet, offer to go with her to run whatever errand she needs. This way, she can do what she needs to get done and keep her baby close without having to struggle. This could even be a quick Target run for more nursing or baby supplies.

7) Pamper the new mama

Another great way on how to help new moms is by pampering them. Moms need self-care now more than ever but they won’t do it themselves.

You could do this by watching the baby while she gets a mani / pani (or you could give one to her). Another way you can pamper your new mama is by bringing over some bath bombs so she can take a nice, relaxing bath. 

There are literally so many different ways on how you can pamper a new mom. But you know her best so pick something she won’t ask for but will really appreciate.

Related Post: Uplifting Self-Care Ideas for Moms Needing a Break

8) Have a new mom care package delivered to her door

If she doesn’t want visitors or is far away from you, a new mom care package would be the perfect way to remind her she is special. 

And what I love about this tip on how to help new moms is that you get to choose from an extremely large variety of new mom care packages like these here. Like I said, you know her best so you’ll know which one of these she would like the most.

Personally, I like anything that helps me relax with a delicious snack LOL. But if she’s a first time mom and doesn’t have a mom mug or shirt yet, then I suggest finding one that has one haha.

Related Post: Best Gifts For Nursing Moms (From Essentials to Unique)

woman helping a new mom by babysitting kids

9) Babysit or arrange playdates for older kids

If this isn’t your special mama’s first time around, then she probably has older kids that want attention too. And even though mom wishes she could spend time with them, having a new baby in the house makes it really hard to.

So trust me when I say that she would really love it if you could take her older kiddos out to do something fun. This could be playing with them in the backyard, arranging a playdate with cousins or friends, or even taking them to the zoo. 

When my younger brother came over to play video games and basketball with my son in the yard, it not only made my mom guilt go away for a bit, but it made my son so happy too. It’s a win-win for everyone!

10) Take care of pets

Now babies and kids aren’t the only ones that need to be cared for. Pets need love and care too. However, mom will already have her hands full with her newborn.

And no, you don’t have to take her pets to your home to watch if you don’t want to. Simply swing by to take the dogs for a walk or clean out the cat litter. These alone will be a huge help. Plus, you’ll get some furry cuddles as a reward.

taking picture of new mom and baby

11) Take lots pictures and video 

Too many times moms are left out of the pictures even when they’re normally the ones spending the most time with the baby and kids. And unless the husband is a photographer, chances are, he isn’t taking many pictures.

So even if mom isn’t in her best outfit or is rocking that messy mom bun, take the picture. She may not want it now but she’ll love seeing it later. 

Oh and please take some videos! I wish I had taken more videos of my son when he was a baby, so I’m making sure not to make that same mistake again. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m not really in the videos LOL. So take videos of her doing what she does best, being a great mom! 

However, do NOT post anything on social media without her permission. These are for her eyes only! At least until she says otherwise. 

12) Recommend shows and movies to watch

I would say that probably half of mom’s day will be spent sitting on her recliner nursing or feeding her baby. And yes, she will adore and bond with her precious one while she’s doing it but… she will also get bored LOL.

This means she will definitely be in need of some good shows to binge watch and perhaps some movies too. And don’t worry if she doesn’t have a subscription service anywhere because you can gift her a temporary subscription with Amazon Prime Video here

Or if she’s already seen everything on Prime, I personally have a bunch of shows I’m watching on Hulu so perhaps gift her a couple months of Hulu’s streaming service. Then, she won’t have to worry about what to watch since she’ll have a full library available. 

13) Create an at-home date night kit

Okay okay, even though this is a post on how to help new moms, this tip is for the husband because they need love too LOL. Plus, I’m sure the new mama wouldn’t mind this one either haha.

There are so many fun at home date ideas but if you leave it up to the new parents to decide right now, they won’t do anything at all. This is why picking an idea and creating a kit for them is something special you can do.

For example, you could pick an online painting class and send them a kit with the art supplies. Or you could send a playlist of their favorite dancing songs, wine and chocolates for a true, romantic date. 

Just because they had a baby doesn’t mean they can stop dating or making time for each other. In fact, it’s extremely important that they continue to do this throughout their entire marriage. 

Related Post: Fun Stay at Home Date Night Ideas for Couples with Kids

baby holding rosary in dads hands

14) Remind her to trust in God

Becoming a new parent is hard and exhausting so it’s important to remind her that she is not alone. If she trusts in God and prays to him, everything will be okay. But I know this is easier said than done when the newborn challenges are present.

That’s why I especially love this Oh Baby, Devotions for New Parents Gift Book. It’s designed specifically to help new moms and dads find peace and joy in their new journey through encouraging scriptures, devotions and prayers. 

So remind her to keep faith close in her heart and that God only gives us what we can handle. They are both strong and amazing parents and will get through the challenges, plus it’ll all be worth it in the end.

15) Be her friend

Lastly and most importantly, be her friend! She may be beating herself up and may even think she’s failing as a new mother. When times get rough, it’s hard for us to reach out and talk to someone, but if someone reaches out to us first, we’re an open book.

So hear her out. Let her vent and be her shoulder if she needs one to cry on. Remind her that she doesn’t need to be a superwoman right now and that she’s doing a great job.

Her baby is well taken care of and that’s all that matters. But sometimes she needs someone else to tell her this. 

Now there are ways in which you should not help new moms too. Some of these could make her feel worse or more stressed than she already is. So let’s see what these are so you don’t do them.

new mom experiencing postpartum depression

How (Not) To Helps New Moms

So when trying to help a new mom, be sure not to do these:

1) Don’t be judgmental on how she chose to feed baby

Fed is best no matter what anyways says. I personally have experienced both and both my kids are healthy and strong. So don’t judge a mother on how she chose to feed her baby, whether she’s exclusively breastfeeding, formula feeding or a combination.

This is a decision that is between the parents and the pediatrician. Plus, each mom has their own reasons for choosing to feed the way that they did. In some cases, it can be a personal and sentimental topic for the mother.

For example, I really wanted to breastfeed my son. However, due to having a stressful pregnancy, my body barely produced enough milk so we had to turn to formula. This devastated me and if someone were to judge, it would only make me feel worse. So please avoid doing this and instead support her in her choice, no matter what it is.

2) Don’t just focus on baby (postpartum is real)

I’m not going to lie. Before I was pregnant, I was guilty of only checking in on the new baby. It would never occur to me that “hey, let’s check on the person who just gave birth to a human being.” LOL

But postpartum is real so it’s important to check in on mom as well. Many moms don’t even realize they have fallen into depression so there are postpartum symptoms you should be aware of when checking in. 

Yes, we all want to know how the cute little bundle of joy is. But keep in mind that this mom just experienced childbirth which is miraculous but can also be traumatizing. So check in on them both, but definitely make sure your mama is doing good as well.

3) Don’t “drop-by” without warning

Remember how I said that new moms are trying to figure out their new normal? Yeah well dropping by without warning messes this up. 

Think about it. What if mom barely put baby to sleep and is about to lay down to take a nap too. But if you show up unexpectedly, she won’t be able to go to sleep and perhaps it would have been her only chance of the day. 

She may also be breastfeeding and alone in the house. This would make it extremely hard for her to get up and answer the door if she’s in the middle of nursing. You get the idea right? 

No, I’m not saying you can’t visit a new mom. But let her know ahead of time you want to come over and let her decide if that’s okay.

4) Avoid unsolicited advice dumping

Lastly, another way on how not to help new moms is by dumping a bunch of unsolicited advice. They are already overwhelmed as it is and thanks to Google, they may already be searching up the questions they have.

But of course, if she asks you for your opinion on something, dump away LOL. Just don’t do it if she doesn’t ask. 

thoughtful ways on how to help new moms

Go Help Your New Mama

Yay! Now you know the different ways on how to help new moms and believe me, she will appreciate whichever you choose to do. 

Have you done any of these to help a new mom? Are there any other ideas I could add to the list? Let me know in the comments below as I would love to hear from you!

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2 thoughts on “How To Help New Moms (& How Not To) in the First Weeks”

  1. Oh my goodness Lucy. This is so helpful. I wish my friends and boyfriend at the time had read this. I would not have been half as stressed as I was. And since I want a child very soon. I’ll save it and send to my friends and family because it’s hard enough to be a working mom. Thanks

    1. Lucy | CheersToLife

      I’m so happy to hear this! It’s definitely a struggle but hopefully it can help you with your next baby ♥

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